- Refusal to use protection: Even if he is 100% certain that he is clean, he should have the decency to know that his telling you that will not give you the peace of mind you would need to sleep unprotected with someone without proof. It may be harsh but, if a guy tries to talk you out of using a condom, or even shows disgust or irritation over you suggesting it, walk out.
- Tug-a-war: Tug-a-war of any kind is not okay. A guy trying to guide you into a certain position that you are clearly resistant to, or into a certain act that you obviously don’t want to do— is never okay. Some guys try to get away with not talking to you about it. They think that if they don’t technically ask you if it is okay, then you didn’t technically say no. So they think they can just keep trying to use their body to direct you into doing something you don’t want. But they aren’t clueless. They can tell when you are resisting. If they keep pushing for it, call the whole thing off.
- She did it: Don’t ever let a man convince you to do something by saying that his ex always loved it, or saying other females tell him they’ve enjoyed it, or trying to call on his “references.” That is just another form of intimidation; plus, the last thing you need to visualize at such an intimate time is this man being with someone else.
- Leaving you to clean up the mess: Let’s be real…sex can get a little messy sometimes. Don’t ever allow a man to just toss a towel your way when it’s over and go off to check his email, shower or (god forbid) leave. If he even tries this, demand that he come back and clean up. Demand some respect. And never call him again.
- Phoning a friend: Be it a one night stand or a long time boyfriend, it is your decision whether or not a guy can tell his friends what has just happened. Some men think it’s okay and even funny (so immature) to pick up their friend’s call when they’re still panting post-coital and tell them “I’m in bed with so and so.” Unless you two are in some sort of a relationship in which you have established you both find that humorous or are at least comfortable with it, it is highly disrespectful for a man to do this.
- Frustrated over not finishing: Never is getting angry the way to go in terms of getting what you want in the bedroom. If you finish before your guy and you are just exhausted, or visa versa, no one is entitled to a temper tantrum. That being said, if you’re in a long-standing relationship with a person who does not prioritize your satisfaction enough and who you know has the energy left in him to satisfy you, but is just being selfish or lazy, definitely say something about it. Just don’t pout or name call.
- Fear of eye contact: I get it—looking each other in the eyes for a long time during sex can be awkward and even ruin the mood. But some men are terrified of eye contact during sex. They only like positions in which there is no eye contact. They frantically whip their head around trying to avoid your eyes if you are looking at them. For many women, this can make them feel objectified. If you’re in a long-standing relationship with a man with this problem and it does disturb you, talk to him about it. Even suggest he see someone professionally to handle the fear.